"Be quiet! Be still!"

"Be quiet, Be still!"

Those where the words Jesus muttered after He was awakened in a hurried manner to find his disciples in distress over a storm. You see, He was on a boat. A storm was coming and everyone with the exception of Him was afraid.

I was on that boat. In fact, I am on that boat.

I feel like the weight of the World is crushing down upon me. Storms and waves keep crashing, they just take different forms. Waves of doubt, heavy rains of judgment and criticism, thunder of rejection and storms of them all put  together to make one intimidating hurricane.

These waves of doubt look like a lot of looking left and right only to see everyone around me doing so well at whatever they are doing when I dont even seem to have a clue what im doing, what im called to, or even what will become of me. I have no answers to any of those things, all I know is that this is a place where I have been lead and doubt has crept into my mind and it has stolen my peace, my hope, my faith.

Heavy rains of judgment and criticism. Look a lot like people saying "Yari you should do this, go here, take that job, take another one, if you do this you'll be sucessful" with and only reply from me saying wait I can't make a choice right now, I just can't! You see cause if God does not go before me, if He did not open the door to it then I don't want it. Only to hear back from them saying "girl what are you saying? What are you doing? Your falling behind, you are suppose to be climbing  up are you crazy? Do you realize you just gave up a huge opportunity? If God was really with you do you really think He would have you abandoned? Girl you need to get real!"

Thunder of rejection because thunder has always been frightening to me, the loud booms and roars of the Earth always put me in a shell. Rejection all around me lost friendships, broken relationship, I can't seem to find anyone who understands and it is overwhelmingly gut wrenching and yes it kills me, yes it takes every part of me to keep walking towards obedience. When really all I want to do is just run off to some Island forget about everyone and everything and live off tropical fish and coconut juice till my dying days.

But when they are all put together they make the perfect storm. Perfect storm to watch me drowning, perfect storm to consume me, perfect storm ready to destroy everything that has taken so so much to build in one single moment.

But one single word from Jesus changed it all! He said to the storm "BE QUIET!"

Lies can be so deceiving and for a moment I was drowning. Oh but Jesus, Oh but good Ole Jesus said "Be Quiet" to the storm. He tells me tell the lies, tell them all to BE QUIET, because don't you know who's on your boat?! Don't you know if I started something I will bring it to completion?!  Don't you know I have called you to walk on water not drown in it?! Why are you giving in?!

You may not have an outcome just yet but thats Gods job He determines your outcome but we are responsible for being obedient. I was so worried about what will become of me that I lost myself and tried to start doing things my way, than to trust God through it all. But that is not faith that is fear and it can be lethal! Faith is letting God mold you build, your character and realize that, that does not just happen over night it takes time. So allow him to do so and embrace the moment so preciously given with thankfulness that He is willing to work on you. Let the doubt go and be restored with peace because you know deep in your bones God is with you and He is not man to lie. Hold on tightly.

To the rejection, shake it off because certain things have to be cut off in order to get to where you are going. You can't hang with everyone cause not everyone is going to where God is taking you. Cause if you are being obedient then He will be faithful to guard and protect every single aspect of your life and absolutely everything you do will be carefully placed so that ultimately His will can be done in your life. The perfect and pleasing will of God.

The criticism remember they criticized Him first. So let them, you do you! Know that you have a purpose in this world and seek after it and God willing you will find it. Thats why it hurts so much He says "if anyone wants to follow me He must pick up his cross and carry it and if he losses his life for me He will gain it." And that is literally what it feels like you pick up a cross which feels like all the weight of the world falling so heavyly on you, all the pressure, all the weight on you and at some point you become so tired so exhausted. But then theres also so much surrendering, your will, your selfish ambitions, your pride, your dreams, your goals all of it for His will for your life knowing that His will for you life is Way better than yours was anyways. Way better because His ultimate goal is to get you HOME so be reminded this is not your Home! So stop trying to get so comfortable in it. An eternity is at stake here! Those are the TRUTHS that replaces every doubt, every fear, every lie because you are to walk on water not drown in it.

It seriously amazes me so so much how wonderful and orderly Abba is! When you begin to fall all He has to do is speak Truth into those lies and He delievers it majestically  His grace is astonishing. To me scripture is where I get my answers, they come loud and clear some may have dreams and visions, others through a friend God uses to deliver a message, others might hear his voice audibly whatever the case may be discern His voice from all the over things and you will see just how sovereign He is and how He really is in control and making keeping you afloat so next time those things creep up just say "BE QUIET" "BE STILL" those are all lies cause I know who is on my boat!!! Let God calm that storm.

In this walk I have learned to be patient and patience has been a key point in this, there has been a lot of surrendering, a whole lot of saying "Be quiet"! To all the lies that come my way. Theres also A lot,  A LOT OF TRUST in the Lord a lot of trust in all of this. But im not done in this whole process honestly I don't know if I will ever be but I cling to Hope and Faith because I do want to love like He does, I want to live the life He has planned for me, and I want to fall more and more and more In love with Him. His love is what changed everything for me and for that I am eternally grateful I am in complete fondness of Him and I only desire to go deeper. I pray this may bless you reader in a great way and you may see just how beautifully He is glorified in weakness and be encouraged to continue your walk and not give up.

If any of you ever need prayers you can always email me I don't bite :) feel free to leave your comments and I pray this story may help you along. God is always good always! Godbless ♡ May He be glorified in your life! Amen!