Testimony

Fellow readers,
 

 First and for most I would like to thank God for every trial every hardship and every struggle in my life, especially the most recent ones because if it wasn't for those struggles I would have not known my calling in my life today. God has revealed to me little by little what it is that really drives my heart and fills me with a great passion and joy to pursue those fruitful and righteous desires for justice.

About a month ago and a half ago I had told God I was done I was tired I was exhausted and asked the same question I had asked over and over again and endlessly throughout all the hardships. That question was "why"?! why me God? I was angry praying to God with tears in my eyes and resentment in my heart. I asked why I had to lose a mother will others selfishly disrespect there's, I asked why when I was fifteen my dad was diagnosed with cancer I told him "didn't you know what that would do to me"?! " didn't you see how much pain that had caused me I even went as far as to say he wasn't fair" and was undeniably convinced he didn't love me. And went it come to poverty I faced in my younger years that was something I myself had made known to God nothing he could say could ever justify my suffering as well as my families.

His response to me?! 

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must FINISH its work so that YOU may be mature and complete not lacking anything." -James 1;2-4

I questioned myself after that verse I even made a flashback in my head of everything that had once caused me pain and left open wounds and almost instantly  I felt consumed because through those trials I now understand that made some spark some desire in me, it ignited a fire I have in my heart to speak to those who are oppressed that brighter days are yet to come: to those in poverty that in God there is always a helping hand and for those in sickness there is a grate and powerful healer that worked and moved through my father and I was fortunate to see and now firmly believe in the sovereignty of Gods power of healing. Let me emphasize that healing was solemnly based NOT on faith healing that kind where if you have faith you will be saved  but a divine healing that no one can deny. A healing that no man could ever say if you believe you will be saved because are you God to say he or she is saved? Do you have power to give or take life no that wasen't the type of healing my eyes witnessed I witnessed a Divine healing in my fathers life where God himself spared my fathers life he as Lord he as ruler he as sovereign to give and take away that is what I witnessed and I firmly believe in that type of healing. Some preachers will say if you believe you will be saved but that wasent what I saw, Yes I believe in the power of prayer yes I  believe we can intercess for the sickly in prayer but NO I do not believe we have any right to say if you believe you will be saved because only God is the one who determines weather a person is saved or not. More than faithful healing what I experienced there was divine healing in my fathers life. I believe those in healing ministry themselves cannot save a life. I believe what the bible explains when Paul expresses to the crowd to leave him alone with the sick that's when he shows a healing should not be made to exalt that power they think they posses they humbly should only communicate a message from God to the sickly that God himself has healed them like Paul. 

Before I ever had a relationship with Christ I would always say I didnt need my mother anyway. I was foolish probably my biggest resentment and it wasent until I went in depth with God that I realized all along how scared I was and the emptiness in my heart that I was desperately trying to fill.l realized that yes I needed her in many ways. It broke my  heart to realize this because it was like facing a truth I never had the courage to face. It was gut wrenching and felt heavy on me. But I learned that through this God had given me the gift of compassion to feel moved by those who like me had grown up without  loved one. I was merciful and susceptible to those kind of oppression's and my heart goes out to those who have suffered deep lose and I realized that I cared enough to be a voice to those people in mourning and deep sorrow that a new love like none other can be found and filled in Christ. 


For poverty he gave me HOPE:
He let me know that  I was never alone and perhaps this was my biggest calling in life to be of great influence that despite whatever hardship you may be facing there is always hope in the Lord. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him. and He will make your paths straight, Proverbs 3;5-6
 

To the reader I leave my testimony not to make myself a victim but for you to see that Gods Almighty hand has been graceful. He freed me from oppression and gave me the understanding that those things needed to happen to make me who I am today. I now feel at peace and I am very thankful and with acceptance take full responsibility to my calling in life.

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." -John 14;27






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